So I originally wrote this as a Facebook post today. And you know what, I am just to the point with my inept wasband in the past few months of having to get the house ready, thankfully with the help of my parents because my wasband is too busy avoiding reality, playing on discord and Twitch with his younger pick me friends, than to deal with the reality that he brought into existence with his avoidance.

The only things he’s done with the house beyond pay his half of cost for any work completed, such as emptying the house in professionally cleaning the house, etc. To remove the things he wanted and then randomly text me one day that he felt me no longer needed Wi-Fi in the home (never mind the fact that the house is empty and could probably use a camera to make sure nothing happens), so he would be going over to the house later that day to remove the routers etc and cancel the internet bill.

So now the house is under contract and getting inspections. I feel so awful for any potential buyer having to deal with what has happened to the house because my husband refused to grow up and hire anyone to deal with potential damage occurring.

He likes to present as if he is a good guy, a nice guy. But it is a lie. He likes to act funny and supportive on Twitch and discord, and his parasocial relationships. But he is inept, immature, especially for a 45-year-old man with a full-time job, a house, responsibilities, adulthood.

He is the resentful man who marries a woman with an incurable chronic autoimmune disease, who suggests to her that Chico on his medical insurance after they marry because it is a better plan, has better options and better coverage. But over the years, he starts to resent her being an expense on his paycheck as part of his medical coverage. Even when the medical plan required, both spouses to participate in biometrics as part of a discount program for the cost of the insurance, which she happily completed to help out because of the chronic disease patient, I get it. And of course, he always reminded me to make sure to get the form filled out by my doctor and submitted to the insurance.

But when the program requirement changed for the medical discount to only require the employee to undergo the biometric screening and other tests and measurements to fulfill the requirements of a discount, suddenly, he no longer cares about participating in completing them.

But then of course, he would make comments about the cost of me being on his (better) medical plan.

Let me tell you what I discovered upon leaving his plan and going on my employer’s plan during the process of our divorce.

Under his plan, I didn’t have to meet the deductible in order to get my specialty pharmacy Humira medication like I do now. My insurance plan has a a discount maximizer program, not to mention I’ve been on Abbvie’s discount program for years… But they can’t help me fully because my Anthem discount maximizer requires that I meet my deductible first or I have to pay my remaining deductible in order to get my humira and have the copay assistance from the manufacturer step in for the rest of it.

Oh and did I mention that my wasband does not have a chronic disease like me, avoided the doctor like the plague, and is not on any high cost medication as I have been over my 31 years of rheumatoid arthritis?

But I’m the problem.

Anyway, this is the reality of dealing with an avoidant husband who won’t grow up and deal with the reality of adulthood:

I hate Jeff so much.

The potential buyers of our house are getting a mold inspection done and I’m so angry because we should have dealt with this and he refused year after year.

And the one time that I reached out to Angie’s List just to find contractors and started getting emails and phone calls and texts, and I let him know that I was doing that, trying to find contractors that could have help us in getting the bathrooms fixed, especially the primary bathroom. He got so mad at me, like actually angry And told me not to ever do that again. And I think that was in 2014, because I remember getting the the voicemails and messages when I was in unit 80 as JFS specialist and my desk was located in our original location across from the big break room.  I remember looking down at my phone and thinking that maybe I could convince him that we should finally deal with this since I was getting contractor contacts and information and interest.

But he got so angry with me. I think he told me that he would decide when we were going to deal with it.

And having to deal with these issues with the house is not something I wanted to wish on anyone having to deal with. But know anyone who potentially buys our marinal house is going to have to face the prospect of a bunch of work because Jeff could not be arsed to get off his damn computer and deal with the reality of damage occurring in our house.

His job has always been remote, which means lots of phone calls. And I remember overhearing him within the past few years in a boastful voice telling his coworker how our house basically has this issue going on in the primary bathroom shower and potentially the wall, but that he’s too scared to find out what’s really going on, so telling this coworker how he’s just not going to deal with it. Because he’s afraid of what they’ll discover. He was telling his co-worker this during a Teams call, in the tone of voice as if he was boasting about something to be proud of. I was horrified.

And now we’re here trying to sell this house that deserves so much better and any own potential buyer has to deal with the ramifications of my piece of shit ex-husband not wanting to deal with reality because it’s too hard.

I hate him so much. And let’s be clear, he deserves to be hated. He is not a nice man like he pretends to be. He was not a nice husband, like he pretended to be outside. He was not a nice dog owner, like he pretended to be. He was not a nice partner. He was not a nice human being. His cruelty was the point, especially in the last few months. He treated me as if I was trash to be discarded. He resented my existence.

I fought for my life 20 years ago, survived two open hearts surgeries, and he resented my existence for being in his space.

I’m so angry.

Meanwhile, his priority in life is to go on ThatsSoLurn’s stream and act like the world exists without responsibilities. He acts as if he’s a good guy. A nice guy. But I know the truth, it’s all a mask.

It took me several years to convince him to get the  collapsing hallway ceiling dealt with and I consider the fact that he finally did so to be a complete miracle.. his dog Ollie used to lay right underneath the sinking cracked ceiling on the hallway tile, day after day. And Jeff still didn’t care to have it fixed because of that, because the ceiling is collapsing even with his so-called precious dog napping underneath, he didn’t care.. And honestly, I think he still doesn’t really care about the house.

He told the realtor in the walk-through that he wasn’t interested in repairs. In the terms of our divorce, we have to agree on anything the house needs that cost over $500. So I have no choice but to agree to sell as is, because my ex-husband is an awful human being.

I’m so angry.