NextDoor: A Series… Suburbanites Crowing About Welfare Abuse


Apologies for the lack of blog posts especially in this past year. I’ve been focused on quite a few other things other than NextDoor, especially since one main problematic poster on there was removed for his repeated promotion of Trump rhetoric with pandemic anti-masking and making health recommendations when he’s a handyman and not a doctor. So things have been generally peaceful. Generally…

But today I look at the posts to find one that has been around for a week or so regarding thanking taxpayers for their public contributions towards a valued program for a disabled child’s needs. Which ultimately I really hold no problem with because I am all for public service. I believe and support public funding of programs. However what I will not stand for is the bullshit that I found in the comments today which I plan to address here. I also posted the same words on next door to these people however it will likely be removed because our leads are quite biased, sheltered, and racist. They don’t know what myself and my friends and coworkers have learned in the course of our work. They Have never had to look into the eyes of the clients that we have had to and be limited by policies.

So this goes out to Brian, who’s stated that “More money should go to those in need to struggle with physical or mental issues, like your son and less tax dollars should be going towards those who are able to work but don’t want to, and those who purposely have numerous children out of wedlock in order to get free money from taxpayers” and Stephanie, who stated “Yes and now that I have a son who legitimately will never be able to work in an living for himself, it hurts even more to see the people who abuse it.”

I have worked in this field for over 15 years. It has changed me not only as a woman, especially a white woman but also as a human. I went from being a conservative Republican, raised Catholic in a military family, who always voted Republican. And then this work changed me. I’m not going to stand for this bullshit being said about real people whom I have connected with in an effort to help them while limited by public policies. I’m not going to stand for people saying shit about them as they try and survive in a society that only wants to punish the poor, those in poverty, especially in generational poverty after slavery supposedly ended.

An interesting thing that I have noticed about living in the suburbs (especially since I’m no longer on military bases as an adult, which could often include a mix of different cultures of people especially in Okinawa) is that they don’t like it when you stand up for something that is outside the white bread Pinterest board of their community. They just don’t like it. You’re supposed to agree with them and never challenge their assumptions about life outside of their bubble. Well, that’s not how I am. And honestly that’s not how I was really raised either. I’ve had people in front of me tell me their deepest secrets, what’s going on, crying in front of me to try and explain why their situation is what it is. They deserve better from us. Especially those who judge them. And now someone on that post is asking me why I had to ruin the feel-good emotions of Stephanie’s original post, even though Stephanie was making judgments about people on welfare utilizing these programs. I’m not going to stand for that shit. I’m not going to stand for it at all. Especially after everything I have learned in service to them.

I’m not standing for this shit today.

Who wants to bet that Brian there and Stephanie are all  clueless suburbanites who know nothing about generational depression, trauma, racism, and poverty.? Y’all know what I do and how I’ve been educated by it.

People who struggle to do work activities or keep a job aren’t abusing it. Especially if they have untreated physical or mental health conditions, are a single parent, depend on public transportation, have a criminal record (even moresso if it’s from weed!), have a history of working multiple jobs at once, and are so fucking stressed out by dealing with the public welfare agencies. And let’s not forget that the entire system of government is designed to work against the poor and minorities in the first place (if you want to talk about abuse…)

Meanwhile, Becky with the perfect Pinterest hair and the perfect Pinterest Live Laugh Love porch display in the form of a painted wooden board with their surname written in overly done cursive announcing their family’s superior togetherness apples for benefits and conveniently fails to report that her husband and father of children lives in the home! And he works a full time job that pays beyond FPL. Like beyond beyond! And she’s doing it because another Becky at the salon told her how to lie to the agency to get free benefits (it’s not free, see sanctions and overpayments policy…oh and work activities and the Medicaid policy regarding your estate when you die…it’s never free!)

“Just pretend you’re a single mom””
Do realize how insulting that game is to actual single mothers out there.  (By the way, legal status of marriage doesn’t matter if he’s the father, so…)

THAT is abuse.

And those who pull that stunt? It’s nothing new. It’s not clever. Workers have developed an eyeroll and a head shake from figuring it out so much.

Abuse is not poor people and those in poverty trying to utilize a system that appears to exist to help them BUT ACTUALLY is designed to continue to punish them in their poverty for generations.

That’s gaslighting.
That’s abuse of their survival, not abuse from them. Survival on $234 a month isn’t abuse.

Now the mention of women bearing multiple children by any man? In a society where the burden of birth control is on the woman who ovulated once a month for only so many years versus men who can inseminate multiple times on multiple days for multiple years until the day they die?

Sit down.
It’s  a complex women’s issue (with personal,  generational, etc aspects) that cannot be resolved by welfare assistance eligibility nor by limiting their fertility.

That’s eugenics. And we know exactly who it would be designed to target. Beckies always get a pass with their Pinterest pin board family.

Never forget that whyte supremacy purposely destroyed the Black family by stealing these women’s men and children from them to be sold on the auction block for free labor (which also wasn’t free. Blood, sweat, and tears are not free.)

And these whyte suburbanites want to crow about all these women (oh, we know exactly what you mean) who (purposely have numerous children out of wedlock…” They probably also think that generational trauma doesn’t shape behavior and patterns within families.

Slavery wasn’t that long ago. Civil Rights era wasn’t that long ago. They care more about these women “abusing welfare” than they do about their lives. Yall just want to keep punishing them. Generation after generation. As though they deserve nothing after we created the monster that eats them up and spits them out. And y’all expect them to just wake up with your same privilege one day and be the perfect robot who does what they’re supposed to, as if y’all are perfect robots. As if y’all know better than they do because y’all had it easier.

Meanwhile when y’all are denied welfare benefits, you pull the “I bet if I was Black, you’d help me!”

Sit down.

This has been mr TED Talk.

One thought on “NextDoor: A Series… Suburbanites Crowing About Welfare Abuse

  1. Rick Phillips

    Hi Kris,, Now I remember why I stay off of NextDoor neighbor. LOL In our ultra-conservative, we do not even get Democrat candidates part of the world we do not have much of this on that site. I did look in on it this afternoon after reading your blog. This is a sample from my neighborhood today:

    “Kids bicycle. Anyone missing a bike in Windwood? Left abandoned in the street a few days ago and now leaning against a tree.”

    Pretty tame over here in Indiana.

    However of course no one ever disagrees anything.

    (quiet subversive)


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